Steven Lewis, Writer

Does not really haunt me much these days.

After all, they sleep a lot.
Sometimes they die.

I still take care
Not to interrupt their long slumber.
Sometimes I hear them snore,
Or shift their weight.

Sometimes I forget,
And then, remembering,
Go to check on them.
I tiptoe, and I keep my own breath shallow.
My looking’s brief,
Not quite a mother’s mix of love and worry.

Knowing they breathe,
I tiptoe back.

There’s still that one
That drops by unannounced from time to time.
He sits awhile, watching me.
And then he lumbers off.

                                                          ---Lisa Mayer

My so-called problem with bears

It surprised me when I lost my footing
and started to slide down the cliff
It surprised me when the truck hit me
It surprised me when she jumped out of the red truck
and started apologizing
I'm not used to the tender sound of a sorry voice
I'm not used to people who aren't afraid
I'm not used to people who aren't trying to shoot me
with a camera or a gun
But I got used to a lady bringing me bowls of honey
and telling me she loved me
I got used to love

                                                          ---Julie Evans

My problem with bears is actually my problem with English. This luscious language allows the word to mean a large furry omnivore, the bear (Ursus …americanus, arctos, horribilis or maritimus). It can also mean: to carry a load (bear a burden), relate information (bear witness), and be identified by (bear the name). As if that weren't sufficient confusion, when properly anagrammed the word means without clothing (bare to the waist) or minimum requirements (the bare necessities), which is incidentally a song sung by a bear in Disney's animation, The Jungle book.

I can barely bear it.

                                                          ---Tom Nolan

I sit up in bed, blinking as the birdfeeder outside the window swings violently at the end of its chain. It’s that bear again; the same myopic creature that can’t distinguish a birdfeeder from a lamppost, and has been knocking them over between here and Mt. Tremper all summer.

I put my nose against the screen just as the bear stands up on its hind legs. We are suddenly face to snout, its breath hot and its nostrils aligned with my eyes, as if I were looking down the barrel of a shotgun.

I’m awake now.

                                     ---Ed McCann

Tell me about your fear of bears
She said

You misunderstand me
It's that I cannot bear the fear

You must stay very still
When a bear comes near

No it's not a bear I fear
It's the fear that I cannot bear

You must stay still -absolutely
Until the bear is clear

All right -I agree
My fear is a bear stalking me
I will stay very still until he leaves

When he leaves you too must go
Following closely
Deep into the wood
For it is he who will lead you to the honey

                                       ---John Gredler

You're saying you want us to leave this place where I am happy, that I have worked so hard to create, just leave our good neighbors whom I have come to love, and the children all settled? We're going to move seven kids across the country, back to a life I got away from, back home for votes, in your pursuit of power. What about me Jack? Will running your campaign fulfill my needs, will it raise our kids?

I have no choice. I'll smile for the children as I drown in your dream.

                                                          ---Carla Carlson

My so-called problem with bears

I don't know why people say I have a problem with bears. I rarely think about them. Not like my problem with cats. I hate cats, and don't get me started about my allergies. Or rats. Once when I had the house in Brooklyn, I saw a rat in our bathroom. I don't even remember touching the stairs as I flew out of the house. Skunks make me nervous, and so do raccoons. Then there was that camping trip in Arizona when I saw rattlesnakes and scorpions. Now that seemed like a problem.

But bears? Nah.

                                                          ---Neil Selinger

My so-called problem with bears

the tripwire is "bears, 96 words on bears." the tripster is my boy steven, an exercise for his writing group, followed by a pic-a-nic in the country. no group member, no writer, but intrigued by the hook, i go to ? and the mysterions' "96 tears," can i just repeat that till 96 words are used up? then to "bare," like nekid, which i prefer to "bear," then to norm, the heavy guy from "cheers," on "saturday night live," him saying, between chomps on sausage, with a hard, snap-crackling chicago "s" at the end, "da bears."

                                                          ---Richard Gaynor

Out of my bedroom of the share house, I observed my first bear. In the kitchen…
He was 6'5" with so much hair
The fridge light lit up his body as he scratched his stomach and drank out of the carton. Could this be my milk?
The milk I had to leave early to buy for my coffee.
He spilled some on his black haired chest as he shoved the carton back.
His feet shuffled across the floor as he lubberly made his way to his room.
I don't want to deal with the bear tonight.

                                                          ---Frank Rossi

… Yeah?
Yeah. Really ….
Don't jive me, Steven.
No, word for word. I left the door unlocked waiting for you.
He could turn the knob and let himself in?
He-she-whatever, I certainly didn't let them in.
Them?
Yeah, there were a few of them, didn't I--?
A few? Three? Four?
Well, at first, and then -
Then?
Four, maybe 14, maybe 24, I dunno …
And what's this bearcrap all over the manuscript? It's full of seeds!
Well, duh, that's what happens when 72 bears …
72?
Yeah, maybe 96.
Don't jive me!
Well, maybe 97.

                                                          ---SL

My So-called Problem with Bears

In '96, on the flats, a squall sucked up the brown waters of the Wallkill and spit them onto the Jehovah fields. A lifetime of hope bent over like the corn stubble. A fair carp swam in the collected water in one of the rows. A brown bear cub pawed out the golden fish. Some noticed that in town that day, many, maybe every person, leaned their heads to the side until their necks made an audible cracking noise exactly the same as the faint sound of the bear's sharp jaws biting into the fish's head.

                         --- Larry Winters

I know what you're going to say, so say it and get it over with. You're going to say I have a bear problem, because that's what everyone says. The people at work, my parents, my girlfriend, even my shrink. Jesus. Last week, the deli guy says, "so Russell, how are the bears?" and he laughs and looks at his wife who's taking my money at the cash register. "It's okay, Russell, you have a bear problem, not to worry. Everyone has something." Sure, I'm thinking, but bears are not my problem. My problem is kumquats.

                                                          ---Gianni Donati (Lisa's brother)

As soon as her foot hit the pavement she snarled. She walked toward the house, looking left and right, sniffing in a little. With fangs out, lured by the smell of something, she followed her nose to the back door and let herself in.

"Something doesn't smell right, what did you do to the sauce? I hope you didn't put sugar in it like the Ame-ri-cans. I like sauce to taste like sauce, not maple syrup. They like it that way from the jar, what do they know?"

                                                          ---Linda Rossi

10). Hibernation creates a prototype for sleeping through the hardest parts of life. (Like winter family holidays.)
9). Hooked up with that guy Sterns and lost a fortune.
8). They fired Mike Ditka.
7). Smokey, Winnie, and Yogi, are big fakes.
6). They forced Goldilocks back to being lost in the woods.
5). They were bad news for Walter Matheau.
4). Lions and Tigers at least stay out of the Adirondacks.
3). They monopolize terrorist caves.
2). They shit in Steve's woods.
1). Only ninety six words is a bear.

                                                          ---Cathy Allman